Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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