Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
