I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Acid is not a monday night drug
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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