do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
