Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
