we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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