I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I didn't notice because vodka
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
