he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
