You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
