Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
