I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
