i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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