yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
