Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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