He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize