ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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