I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
