Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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