I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
