there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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