just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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