I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you inspire me to be a worse person
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
