My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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