Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
