i permit you to call me
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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