She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
