Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
