I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
