i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
