it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize