Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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