September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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