Well douche your snatch and let's go!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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