I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
