No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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