What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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