Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize