Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
