I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
