It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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