oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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