There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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