i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
