Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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