she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
