I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Your cock deserves a montage
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
