I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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