Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I wear drunk well.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
