Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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