I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
