420 ftw
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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