Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
