I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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