I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Are my feet made of real feet?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
