Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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