Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
