i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
