Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
