YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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