The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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