just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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